Check out this chart...must see for parents!!

If you read my last blog about drugs and alcohol dependencies and the legality of marijuana, you will find this graph interesting.  My first cousin, Jason Shumake, has his Ph.D. in psychology/behavioral science and is currently an adjunct professor at Texas State University in Austin.  He read my blog and zipped over this graph for me to share.  It is a graph from "The Lancet," a medical journal, on the relative harm of different drugs of abuse. On the y-axis (dependence) is the addictive potential of the drug, on the x-axis (physical harm) is the risk of death...either from short-term overdose or from increased risk of terminal disease over the long-term.  Note that "cannabis" has less dependency and increased risk than tobacco and alcohol.

However...it should be noted that marijuana (cannabis) is on the chart, which means IT IS A DRUG and like ALL drugs, should be avoided whenever possible as a potential risk factor for causing harm to your health.  But this is just more proof that it does not make sense how we criminalize marijuana instead of legalizing it so that it can be controlled like all other drugs. My point is CONTROLLING it when it has such a widespread usage in the U.S., just like we control alcohol and tobacco.  The same rules would be in place that would prevent anyone under 21 from accessing it, and of course, no smoking and driving.  Essentially, it would be treated just like our alcohol laws.

I would love to hear your opinion on the legalization for controlling marijuana!!

My Salute to the men and women in white...and you, too, God!!

As a 50 year old, I have never had any stitches or broken any bones from accidents.  In fact, the only time I have ever had an overnight stay in a hospital was to have my three boys.  I don't know whether to say I've lead a dull life or have always tried to be safe in my everyday endeavors.  But either way, I have been able to avoid emergency rooms.....until last weekend. 

All I did was go outside to make a few pictures of the 3 inches of snow that is rarely seen in Georgia. This means, of course, that I don't have all the necessary equipment for snow, like a good pair of boots that will prevent me from slipping on the icy spots.  Yep!  You guessed it.  I slid on my concrete drive and did a number on the back of my head when I hit.  For the next 10-15 minutes, my memory is rather vague on exactly what happened.  But I did go back in the house, awoke my youngest son who went and found my husband, Steve.  A trip to the ER was determined necessary when I kept repeating the same questions over and over, besides the obvious cut to the back of my head that would need some stitches.  

Once in the ER, a catscan was ordered once my confusion was discussed.  Once the results came in and after I received 5 staples to the back of my head, the ER physician explained that I had some bleeding in a couple of places around my brain and they were going to ship me off to one of the hospitals in Atlanta if my brain decides to swell and a little drilling is required. While a helicopter flight is not considered necessary, a trip via ambulance is.  OK...wake up call!  I thought I might have a slight concussion, but a trip to a trauma center in Atlanta, drilling into my brain....am I dreaming?!! 

I am so very grateful for the years of education, training, and dedication that the medical profession must pursue so that they can help save lives and this time, possibly my own. They have the procedures down pat as they begin hooking you up, checking your vitals, someone is usually shouting orders, and you feel pretty good that they know what they are doing.  We give our salutes to the men and women who wear military uniforms on a regular basis.  We even have a couple of holidays where we honor them.  But without a doubt, we don't give our men and women in white the same kudos often enough. We pull up to emergency rooms and expect that the doctors, nurses, and various technicians, including EMT's, are going to help us.  We never consider that help won't be there.  We expect it.

I ended up spending 24 hours under observation and getting a couple more catscans.  But thankfully, no drilling into my skull became necessary.  I did have two areas of bleeding, but it was from the covering between my brain and skull and not my actual brain.  I have had headaches this week and I was instructed to avoid anything strenuous for about a week, including work.  But other than that, I will be fine.

Of course, I will hear all the jokes for a while about how I was crazy before, so I will definitely be crazier now; or, did it knock some sense into me, and everyone knew I was "hard-headed," and various other head jokes.  But that's ok.  I'm glad I'm around to laugh about it, too!!

I'm also grateful that the medical profession was ready to assist me in my hour of need. Thank you, Tanner Medical Center!  Thank you, Atlanta Medical Center!  Thank you, God, for allowing me to keep using this old noggan for a while longer!!

Does family size matter?

I watched a new episode of "19 and Counting," a show on TLC about the Duggar family who just added baby #19 to their family in December.  With baby Josie being born 3 months premature, I can't help but wonder if this will be the caboose to the train of Duggar children.  After all, 19 kids?  While you may have the financial means to care for 19 kids, what about the quality of time that parents should spend with their children?  I have only 3 kids and there were times that I felt stretched thin.  But 19??  No way!!  I would have been ready for the funny farm after about a half dozen!!

How can one Mom and one Dad meet all the love and nurturing needed for 19 kids?

My Mom was one of 10 children.  She was number 9 and was 17 years younger than her oldest sibling.  There were times when she resented them as they took on the roles of "Mom and Dad."  I understand the Duggars actually assign an older child to a younger child.  I have watched episodes where Mom hands off her babies to older children as if somehow it isn't her responsibility to take care of the children that she chose to birth.

Where do you draw the line between a child's responsibilities and a parent's in caring for smaller siblings?

As a parent myself, I can't help but think how much they are missing in the one-on-one department with so many small children to nurture at one time.  The Duggar home has less adult one-on-one nurturing on a daily basis than most orphanages or childcare facilities.  Hmmmmm...something to think about. 

Are we harming our children as we have become "doting parents" with our family size now at 3.2?

The average size of families in the U.S. has been shrinking for years.  In 2008, it was 3.2.  Subtract Mom and Dad, you essentially have only one child.  Or, there could be two kids and one parent, considering that 40% of the children born in 2006 were to single-parent homes.  Anyway you look at it, less children to a family in America today is the norm.  The parental dynamics are changing, too.  More grandparents are taking care of grandchildren today than any other time in history.  Are all these changes good for families, the foundation to what has helped build America?

It's going to be interesting to see how well the Duggar children turn out.  Will all of them be prepared for college after spending all their school years being home-schooled? Will all of them marry and have large families of their own?  Will all of them be well-adjusted adults without divorces, drug use, criminal issues, and all the other stuff that families deal with today?   The answer is probably no to all these questions.  But then, we face the same problems in our smaller families.

Obviously size isn't the only consideration that determines well-adjusted, successful, and happy families.

Will you live to be 100...or possibly even beyond?

How long do you expect to live?

This photo is my Grandmother, who will celebrate her 90th birthday on February 28, 2010.  Her birthday is actually February 29.  She will have to live to age 92 for Leap Year to come around again.  I think she'll make it.

The 2008 World Factbook estimates life expectancy in the U.S. to be 77.5 to 80 years of age, which is higher than most areas in the world.  If you ever want to live abroad, consider Canada, some of the European countries, and Australia where life expectancies are beyond 80.  Factors such as access to public health, medical care, and a steady diet have increased our life spans.  Your personal life expectancy will be guided by your economic circumstances, the choices you make when it comes to the food you eat and the amount of exercise you get, and even your level of education and what occupation you pursue most of your life.  Genetic disorders, drug use, and excessive alcohol can also reduce your numbers.  

Will you join that elite club of super-centenarians and live beyond age 110? 

Jeanne Louise Calment from France lived to be 122 years old plus 164 days!  She holds the Guinness Book of Records for the longest confirmed life span in history, living from 1875 to 1997.  She didn't need nursing home care until after her 110th birthday, and then it was more about poor eye-sight than poor health.  I hate to even mention this, but she was even a smoker until age 117.  She contributed her longevity to a diet of olive oil, which was poured on all her food and even rubbed on her skin, port wine, and chocolate.  Yes, ladies, enjoy your chocolate!  She also stayed physically active most of her life.  At age 100, she was still riding a bike.  Maybe smokers should be sure to include a lot of olive oil in their diets and invest in a good treadmill or exercise bike.

Will you choose quality over quantity?
 
My grandmother has been in the nursing home now for about a year.  She lived with my Dad and then my Aunt for several years before they moved her to a nursing home facility.  Except for Parkinson's, the same disease as what Michael J. Fox has, she is still in fair health and may very well live several more years.  She is transported mostly by wheelchair now, but she still recognizes everyone.  Sometimes it's difficult to follow a conversation with her because she jumps between the past and present.  But overall, she still smiles and laughs when you visit her and seems to be in good spirits most of the time.  

If you live long enough, most of us will be faced with similar circumstances.  You may become dependent upon others to help care for you because your frailties will require it.  Strangers may help put you to bed, feed you, and touch your body in the most personal places when you can no longer do it yourself. It is enough to ask why we jump through all the hoops to extend our lives if this is how it will end.

One fact is certain.  Live life to its fullest while you have the health and means to do so.  For those of you who do nothing but save for retirement, don't forget to enjoy the journey now! Go places and do things so that you can tell your great-grandchildren about your life's adventures! Your memories will help sustain you, so don't forget to create a few along the way!  These memories may be what will define your quality of life when your quantity has overflowed way beyond the normal life expectancy.    

And by the way, enjoy that olive oil, glass of wine, and chocolate dessert for dinner tonight.....

Sam, we're not in Ranburne anymore! We are in, "The Twilight Zone!"

Have you ever experienced déjà vu? Do you read your horoscope and have faith in the celestial readings of astrology? Did you believe in the weird stuff that Rod Serling used to tell us in, "The Twighlight Zone?" I always think there is an explanation for everything that verges on the supernatural, paranormal, and all those other psychological mumbo-jumbo words. But I may have to reconsider....

I reconnected with an old high school friend, Samantha, this past week. Samantha and I were born in the same town, in the same hospital, on the same date and year, and only about an hour apart 50 years ago. Her middle name is Ann. My middle name is Joann. By the time we were both 13, she and I were attending the same high school, although she was a year ahead of me because she started school in another state that allowed her to begin at age 5.  

Over the next 4 years, Samantha and I would bump into one another in the hallways to discover that we had on the same dress or the same pair of shoes. We both wore braces, which was still rare in the mid '70's in the rural South.  She was a varsity cheerleader and so was I. We both had red hair, fair skin, and a splattering of freckles. She and I both had blonde sisters, Sheila and Suzanne, who were in the same grade. Note that all four names have similarities in how they sound. The year after Samantha graduated, some of the younger students would call out to me in the hallways, "Hey Samantha!"  Above is Samantha's photo today.

Here is my photo today.  Samantha and I have not seen or spoken to one another in about 30 years. She currently lives in Texas while I live in Georgia. We reconnected via facebook this past week. It was nice catching up and learning that one thing different in our lives now is that she has a daughter while I have three sons. It didn't seem that significant that her daughter is 21 and so is my middle son. Our interconnection was obviously shortlived to a few years in high school.  Anyone can be born on the same date.  Nothing really that spectacular here ...or so I thought....

Here is what she posted back on December 26th to a friend on facebook: "My baby turns 21 tomorrow... it seems impossible." OK. This is where I felt the chill bumps run up my spine.  I read it three times to be sure my eyes were not deceiving me.  Her baby was born on December 27 and so was mine.  

The music is playing in my head as I hear Rod Serling say, "You have now crossed over into, THE TWILIGHT ZONE!"

Are We Alone in the Universe?

Do you remember when Neil Armstrong walked on the moon?

I sure do. My Mom made sure of it. July 20, 1969...a typical warm, humid night in rural Alabama. Up until then, non-fictional TV memories for me were sad events. I vaguely remember the assassination of JFK. While I don't remember MLK or RFK's deaths, I have way too many memories of the Vietnam War splattered across the TV screen every evening on the 6:00 news. So I happily recall this bit of space history.

I remember sitting cross-legged on the floor at my grandparents, barefoot, of course, in my typical summer wear of shorts and a light weight short-sleeved top, watching with anticipation for that first man-made step onto the moon. There was a little discussion about whether this was really happening or some kind of space conspiracy made up by NASA!

We watched it at my grandparents because they owned a "color" TV. Looking back, it's really kind of funny since everything except the flag was pretty much black and white. I guess Mama, along with the rest of the world, didn't really know what to expect. For all she knew the surface was going to be made of orange cheese and little purple creatures were going to pop up out of craters!

I'm so glad she made me watch. It is amazing what scientists and astronomers have discovered since that momentous "giant step for mankind." Just tuning in to the Discovery Channel about recent space explorations makes that magical moment on the moon in 1969 as simple as when man discovered the wheel! Move ahead now to 2010.

NASA's Kepler space telescope just discovered 5 new exoplanets, which are planets beyond our solar system, on its search to find habitable planets similar to the size of earth with close proximity to stars like our sun. Essentially, we are still looking to answer:

"Are we alone in the Universe?"

Ever since man has looked up in the sky, this question has been asked. With all the discoveries from the last 50 years, it would seem reasonable that we are closer now than ever to finally answering that question. But even the experts will tell you that there is so much about the universe yet to be known. Just like the mission to the moon, when it comes to space exploration, we are still pioneers. Can you imagine what mankind will know in another 500 years? That, my friend, is mind-boggling.

One day, my great-great-great-great-great...Ok, you get the picture...grandchildren will know this answer. Maybe my own little bit of history will be past down and they can tell the story about how their 9 year-old grandmother sat on the floor in a racially-biased country, during a decade of assassinations, while fighting a losing battle in a small country called Vietnam, on one of the first mainstream color televisions affordable to the general public, and watched the first man land and walk on the moon. Just like in 1969 and now in 2010, I hope my grandchildren won't be asking this same old question:

When will the war end?

Does anyone still believe in happily ever after?

Did you know that 40% of children born in 2007 were to single parent families? Do Americans really think that a child doesn't benefit from having two parents living under the same roof? Has the high divorce rate of our parents and grandparents taught the younger generations that marriage is all make believe? 64% of women and 50% of men who marry before age 24 will divorce.

Does anyone still believe in happily ever after?

I was rather shocked by a conversation I overheard between my three sons regarding prenuptial agreements. I heard their own pessimism about marriage and how legal documents before the I do's seemed totally logical. My boys, whose parents have never experienced divorce and are still married after 28 years, obviously have reservations about the happily ever after, too.

What has happened in America to change the fabric regarding the roles of marriage, parenthood, and family?


While the 70's ushered in the right for women to end their pregnancies, abortions have steadily declined since the early 90's as women choose to have their babies. Newborn adoptions have become rare as women have no qualms about raising their children without the added bonus of a father and husband. While most people applaud the pro-choice decisions, this has contributed to the increase in single-parent numbers. What it doesn't explain is why there is so little commitment from the parents-to-be when it comes to nurturing their children together under the same roof. What is up with that?

Bringing up children is hard work! Looking back, I am thankful my husband and I chose marriage and stayed committed to one another as we reared our children. While I hope our children will one day appreciate their one family unit, we didn't get married only because we wanted to have children and we haven't stayed married just for their benefit either. The same logic must apply for single parents today.

The upcoming birth of a child is obviously no longer a reason to marry. Is this a good thing?

Besides reasons like love and respect, I wish I could tell you what the magic formula has been for us. I asked my husband to give me one word to answer this very question and his response was "tolerate!" Well, he did chuckle when he said it! There are times where tolerance is part of the equation! While I cannot pinpoint one particular trait, I think one crucial element has been that Steve and I generally like one another. Just like in the movie, "When Harry met Sally," there is something to be said for sharing a healthy friendship with your spouse, too. With a healthy dose of friendship, love, respect, loyalty, selfless giving, and yes, even tolerance, flows much easier.

The good news is that the divorce rate has begun decreasing, particularly among those who wait until after age 24 to marry. I believe that marriages can last until "death do us part." I believe that children benefit from having a two-parent home and that marriage should come first.

OK..so I believe in the fairy tale! Doesn't everyone love a happy ending?